If the Eyes of Faith Don't Work for You, Try 3-D Glasses

I've been part of the Christian subculture my whole life, and spent the past year working in a store that caters to that subculture, so I don't really expect to be too surprised by much of our merchandise anymore. Today, however, I came across an item that officially ranks as the strangest one I have ever seen, bar none. The cinnamon-scented pocket vial of anointing oil that previously held the title doesn't even come close. Here it is:


The title and cover art look fairly normal. A bit of a Lee Strobel ripoff, maybe, but nothing out of the common way. But check out the the fine print at the bottom: "View the world's first scientific Three-Dimensional Holographic Image of the Face of Christ. 3-Dimensional Glasses Included." That's right folks. And not just a random 3-D Jesus hologram, this apparently the face of the crucified Christ, as He appeared in antiquity. According to the synopsis "This documentary investigates the historical record, draws upon medical knowledge, searches for evidence in the lives of the Apostles, explores ancient Jewish burial customs, and—with new scientific technologies—examines the 2000 year old burial cloth of Christ. For the first time through physics and space-age imaging, scientists are able to view the crucified body of Christ in a three-dimensional, holographic image." This doesn't even need sarcastic commentary, folks. It mocks itself. Unfortunately, the DVD failed to deliver on its promise to strengthen my faith and uplift my heart.

With all this being said, I am a firm believer in the Resurrection, and there are scholars and apologeticists out there who can articulate the case for it far more eloquently than I ever could. I highly recommend the work of Lee Strobel and Josh McDowell. It isn't at all my intention to denigrate the Resurrection. It's what gives me hope, and it's the foundation of my faith. But I find it quite unnecessary to grasp at straws for evidence when so much solid stuff is available. And I look forward to the day when I will be able to look at the real, non-holographic Jesus' face. I won't even need 3-D glasses to see Him.

Fireworks and Frozen Yogurt

Today was Canada Day which, while not as big a deal to most Canadians as the Fourth of July is to Americans, is nevertheless a national holiday that involves a parade (in my home village, this happens only twice a year, the other time being Christmas). I celebrated by watching Corner Gas, eating frozen yogurt, and taking an accidental 5-hour nap. If I finish planning tomorrow's VBS lesson in time, I may watch the fireworks from my balcony.

This year's Canada Day festivities have triggered two trains of thought for me. The first is that I am very thankful to live in a democratic country, where I have the freedom to believe what I want and share my beliefs with others. I even have the freedom to vote now that I turned 18, although I'm thankful I don't have to exercise that freedom this summer (minority governments = way too many elections). But that being said, as I've been following the news lately, I've been increasingly grieved to see how some people in our country (including Christians, maybe especially Christians) elevate this day's status to that of a quasi-religious holiday. We feel that because Canada was founded on "Christian" principles (such as, for instance, bloody feuding between anglophone Protestants and francophone Catholics, or banishing multitudes of Native American children to residential schools where, along with learning about the love of Jesus, they had to deal with physical, emotional, and sexual abuse). Undoubtedly, there were some strong (although imperfect, like all of us) Christians in our country's history, but I never know whether to be sad or amused when I see other Canadian Christians treating the smallest slight against our country, whether real or imagined, as a slight against God. We had a principal in an elementary school about two hours from where I live make the controversial decision to play the national anthem only during school assemblies, rather than every morning after some parents objected to their children singing it for religious reasons. You would think he had gone on television and burned our flag or something. People around the country responded in outrage, with the general consensus being that this man was now single-handedly responsible for the shed blood of every Canadian soldier who died in battle. The political party with which he was affiliated was immediately branded as being anti-anthem and anti-Canada. Finally, he had to quit his jobs because of death threats. Death threats, for no other reason than choosing to play the national anthem with less frequency. It would be ludicrous if it wasn't so sad.

I have nothing against people who love their country. I love mine, too. I take pride in being a Canuck, and even in the quirks that are so often associated with the title. I may not live in an igloo (although I wouldn't mind trying the ice hotel in Quebec City someday) but I really do end many of my sentences with eh. I use the metric system and I think Corner Gas is comedy at its best. I do, however, have a problem with people who equate love of their country with hatred of its perceived enemies. Canada is not the new Israel. It is not God's new chosen nation. We do not have the right to His unequivocal protection against any enemies that may arise. To borrow from Elisabeth Elliot, "being a Canadian does not make me a better Christian. Rather, being a Christian makes me a better Canadian."

So happy Canada Day to all two of my Canadian readers and happy early Independence Day to any Americans reading this. I hope you have a great day, and that you are thankful for the many blessings that come with living in a democratic country with a better than average human rights record. Just remember these wise words from Pablo Casals: "Love for one's country is all well and good, but why should love stop at the border?"

Left Behind Books (and why I wish I'd never gotten my little sister hooked)

This may sound slightly (okay, very), sad, but my family's Christmas Eve celebrations last year consisted of a Left Behind Movie Marathon in Quebec. It was, to be fair, an unusual Christmas Eve in several respects. We were driving to visit my grandmother and Christmas Eve happened to be a stopover day in Quebec City, with nothing much to do since the friend who let us stay at her place had to work that day. Nor was the Left Behind Movie Marathon even the most unusual part of our day. The one time all day that we decided to leave the apartment and go for a walk, my sisters and I stopped off at a random convenience store where we were offered free beer (I was 17 at the time, and my sisters were 16 and 11. Apparently, according to the guy behind the counter, the legal drinking age could only be enforced if they sold us the beer. Quebec is weird that way.) However, while the convenience store episode has faded to nothing more than a funny story, the Left Behind Movie Marathon is becoming one of my greatest regrets.

Here's why: My little sister decided that Left Behind was the greatest thing she had ever seen (sadly, this is probably in large part a consequence of our sheltered Christian upbringing), and thus began an obsession that is still going strong 6 months later. Consequently, eschatology unfortunately became a prime topic of dinner table conversation for my family. The conversation could get pretty heated, since my sister was (at least at first) completely sold on the dispensationalist position presented in Left Behind, while my dad was hardcore post-trib. Then, to add to the mix, I find debates over eschatology incredibly pointless, but am sympathetic to (although not completely sold on) the preterist position.

Moreover, once a week at least, my sister and I will end up having a conversation that goes something like this: "Christina, do you think that Jesus will rapture us before the tribulation? Because I don't think I could handle living through the tribulation." "Rachelle, I've already told you, I don't know. Jesus hasn't told me anything new since last week. But I promise you that whatever happens, He'll give you the strength to deal with it." "Well, I still hope it's pre-trib." It's not a bad conversation to have with your little sister, as far as those go, but it gets a little tiresome after the tenth time.

Lastly, my little sister (egged on by my other sister) has taken to identifying signs of the coming apocalypse whenever she listens to the news. Her latest candidate for the Beast of Revelation? Barack Obama. Why? Because (and I quote) "Frank McKenna called him a messiah on CTV and my friend Brittany says he makes people bow down to him." Okay then.

It wouldn't be quite as sad if my little sister was the only one who was obsessed with Left Behind and the famed End Times, but it seems to be fairly common among North American Christians in general. Maybe this is because we tend to prefer sensationalism to what is solid. I don't know. At anu rate, I find it sad that we can allow a comparatively minor issue to become so divisive. I recently read a book by Abdu Murray called "Apocalypse Later: Why the Gospel of Peace Must Trump the Politics of Prophecy in the Middle East." I definitely recommend it. It dealt with how Christians are so focused on identifying fulfilled prophecies in the Middle East comflict that we forget the most important thing: Jews and Arabs both need Jesus. Maybe we could all use a return to the gospel, instead instead of spending our money buying rapture-ready air fresheners and spending our time watching Rexella gush over Jack van Impe's prediction that Jesus is coming back in 2012. Maybe, if we actually focused on spreading the gospel, more people would be ready if He did come back then.

Devotionals

Have you ever noticed that, whatever your hobby or designation, there is a devotional for you. At least one. There are about 20 separate books with the title Devotions for Teens, and I can't even count how many Devotions for Mothers there are. But what about less broad designations? If your hobby is taking care of your puppy, is there a devotional book for you? About 10-15 years ago, devotional book publishers realized these untapped niche markets and started publishing books that reached out specifically to God-fearing nurses, or hunters, or softball players. The result can occasionally be amusing. Check out some of these gems.

Links: Devotions for Golfers. I'm not terribly shocked that I found a book called Devotions for Golfers. What was more surprising was that I found a good dozen devotional books catering specifically to golfers. Maybe it's more popular in the States than in Canada, but I can't imagine that the market would be big enough to warrant that many.

Beautiful Threads: Devotions for Quilters by Mary Tatem. Technically I think it's called words of encouragement or encouraging thoughts for quilters. Again, a bit of a niche market, but I guess there are probably more quilters among the Christian community than there are in society in general. There are definitely more cross-stitchers. Come to think of it, I'm sensing a new untapped market...


More Devotions for Dieters. I don't find it that odd that there would be a book of devotions for dieters. Why not involve God in your effort to be healthy? But a sequel seems a bit like overkill. Not to mention that the word diet denotes a temporary change in eating habits, and it strikes me as more Christian to work towards a permanent lifestyle change that glorifies God in the way you take care of your body.


But anyway, what devotionals are missing out there? Devotions for mongoose hunters? Great-grandmothers? Bloggers?

What do you think?

The Most Important Person on Earth

So the Holy Spirit can be pretty confusing sometimes. For the Christian layperson, only one resource is more valuable than a book that concisely explains the Holy Spirit and how He works.

What resource is this, you might ask? Try a book that concisely explains the Holy Spirit and gives you a chance to win a free Bahamas vacation (and, depending on his schedule, lunch with Dr. Myles Munroe himself).

That's right. Today a customer bought Myles Munroe's The Most Important Person on Earth and, affixed prominently to the front was a sticker that announced that Myles Munroe was partnering with the Bahamas ministry of tourism to offer you the chance to win a free Bahamas vacation. Some days I have the hardest time keeping a straight face while ringing in customers (admittedly I had a harder time when an elderly couple couldn't remember the PIN for their chip reader VISA and started thinking out loud about what it might be. "Try 7263. That's the number for our debit card...").

Here's the best part, though. The warehouse sent us the book (with the promotion sticker) about a month ago. However, when I looked it up online, I found that the promotion had expired in July of 2007. So, unless time travel is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, you won't be able to take advantage of this offer. Oh well. It was an...interesting thought anyway.

Christian Posters (or How to Sanctify Your Dorm Room 101)

So that's it. I'm officially done my first year of university. I finished my history exam 1 hour and 13 minutes ago. It wasn't a very fun exam, chiefly because I drank a Pepsi beforehand so I could stay awake and it made the last 2 and a half hours of the exam rather unpleasant since we couldn't leave the room till we were done. But now I'm done and somehow it's all worth it. My dad and sister are coming to pick me up tonight and we'll be going out to dinner, but in the meantime I'm celebrating by eating chocolate pudding (or trying to without a spoon since I packed my dishes two days ago) and blogging about Christian posters.

There are three different kinds of posters at the bookstore where I work. There are the Rose Publishing poster, which have heavy duty theological stuff like maps of the Holy Land and Timelines of Christian History. There are some smaller, cutesy ones with cartoon pictures of woodland animals and cutesy slogans like "Jesus makes me smile." Our best sellers, however, are put out by World Christian Posters. They're the more mainstream Christian pop culture posters and they range from genuinely deep (for a poster anyway) to amusingly awkward. Either way, they're great, so I thought I'd share some of the highlights with you.

Prayer: It Hurts the Devil's Feelings

Because, of course, that's the best reason to pray.

I <3 Boys (Who Love Jesus)

I wasn't a fan of this poster at first. It still strikes me as rather shallow, but I've moved from being semi-scandalized to amused by it. Don't you love how the "Who Love Jesus" part is just kinda tagged on as an afterthought? The sad thing is that it's actually pretty reflective of how a lot of Christian girls approach relationships.

iPray

Because, of course, iWouldn't be a good Christian if iDidn't get onto the iBandwagon.

If People Give you Lemons, Give them Jesus (and then Make Some Lemonade)

This is a prime example of people trying to Christianize a cliche that was already semi-Christian in the first place. Technically speaking, it's good advice, but it comes off as awkward. And that's just compounded by the pink and yellow color scheme.

"God is dead." - Nietzche, 1883 "Nietzche is dead." - God, 1900

I laughed at this one when I first saw it. But on further reflection I see one of two options. 1. Nietzche turned to God in the moments before his death (unlikely, but I'm not ruling it out) and is now in heaven or 2. He died in his sins, in which case his fate is more sad than funny. But the poster is still clever.

Animal Pranks on the Ark

Someday I may have to do a post with just Bible comics.

"Where You Live Should No Longer Determine Whether You Live" - Bono

I love this poster. I put it up in my dorm room (as well as the next 2). I'd comment on it, but it kinda speaks for itself.

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

So I know this is like the theme verse of 75% of Christians under 30. But I still love it. Plus the graphics are pretty not bad.

Jesus' Faithbook Profile

And there it is folks, the piece the resistance. My personal favorite poster. I love it because it's got about 60 jokes on one poster. My personal favorite is the "View More Paintings of Jesus" link. Plus he's friends with All the Children of the World.


And this last one leads me to ponder (and ask you guys) if Jesus did have a Facebook, what do you think it would look like?

The End of the Story

My friend "Susa" from Navigators recently started a "group journal." She passes it from person to person and everyone gets to write an entry with their thoughts at the time. She handed me the journal over the Easter weekend, so my thoughts kind of turned in that direction. I thought I'd share what I wrote with you guys.


The End of the Story

"The first thing I read in just about any novel is the last few pages." From the reaction I get when I tell people this, you'd think I just said "I club baby seals for fun" or something. Apparently peeking ahead violates some cardinal rule of fiction reading. I'm not sure exactly when it started, but somewhere along the line I read a book with a crappy ending and decided that I would no longer invest time and emotional energy in a book without first making sure it was worth it.

Over the past few weeks, as Easter season has come and gone, I've been thinking more of the first Easter, and it struck me this year that what I do with novels I also do with the Easter story. The only way I could sit through Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ was knowing that the agonies of that awful Friday weren't the end, that their purpose was fulfilled in Resurrection Sunday.

The people who followed Jesus during that first Easter, though, didn't really know what would happen. Jesus did know, He knew that both the horrible crucifixion and the glorious Resurrection were His destiny, but even He struggled with the road He'd have to take. The more I've been thinking about what those days must have been like for those first Christ followers, men and women like Peter, John, and Mary, the more I've seen in them facets of my own experience and that of other Christians.

Friday: For those on the ground on that first Good Friday, it was anything but good. That Friday was the day they saw their dreams for themselves and their country die a bloody death before their eyes. I think of Mary especially, who must have felt every whip lash on her son's back and every nail shattering His hand as though it were happening to her. They had such prayers and hopes for Jesus. They were sure He was going to restore justice and peace to Israel, drive out the Roman oppressors. Instead, the Roman oppressors were slowly killing Him before their eyes. God had never felt so far away. Even Jesus cried out from the cross "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" On a smaller scale we can identify with that experience, the experience of pinning all our hopes on something, of being sure it would take place only to watch our hopes deflate. Maybe we even thought it was God's will, and now suddenly He seems so far away and we feel all alone.

Saturday: Jesus is dead and buried and now doubt, fear, and confusion have settled in. Everyone feels numb, some are angry with God, some doubt that He is good or maybe even that He is out there. No one quite knows what to do now; no one thought thins would end this way. Some, like Peter, are blaming themselves for failing Jesus. Maybe some even blame Jesus for not using His power to defend Himself. One thing is for sure: the hope they had felt just days before as they followed Jesus and heard Him preach is as dead and one as He is. Doubt is something many a Christian has wrestled with, even those of us who know the end of the story.

Sunday: Jesus conquers death itself and His followers realize that their hopes for Him weren't too big after all, they were too small. Instead of just saving the Jews from the Romans, Jesus saves the whole world from sin and death. And here's the most astounding thing: the victory of Easter Sunday is made possible only through the piercing agony of Friday and the deadening doubt of Saturday. Easter Sunday stands forever as a testament to God's ability to take the worst crap the world throws at us and turn it into something far more beautiful than we could ever have imagined. I see so many churches today going around telling people how life with Jesus is one big joyride, one wholesale experience of victory over everything that binds us. But trying to experience the victory of Easter Sunday without the agony and doubt of Friday and Saturday is a cheap and tawdry substitute, like settling for a cheap strand of plastic costume pearls instead of the real deal. Jesus' victory over sin and death cost Him everything He had to give, but the victory is all the sweeter for the cost.

For the record I still read the last few pages of a book before I tackle it. I don't think I'll ever break the habit. What I love most about Easter Sunday is that it not only shows me the end of the story for Jesus and His followers, it shows me the end of my story. Because of what Jesus went through for me, I have hope that the crap I encounter in my life will be temporary, that God can make something beautiful even out of that, and that one day I'll get to share Jesus' happy ending with Him.


P.S. I promise there are some funny posts in the works and I will bring them to you in the near future.